Slop’s Locks: Cowboys vs. Chargers Monday Night Props

If you’re a poor, you’re going to want to read this article. I pretty much figured out sports betting. All of it, but especially tonight’s Monday Night Football game between the Dallas Cowboys and Los Angeles Chargers.

My grandfather always said, “when you have a bet with no chance of losing, don’t just keep it to yourself.” That’s a weird thing to say to an eight-year-old, but it doesn’t make it false. It’s actually truer today than it’s ever been.

I have three bangers for tonight.

If you want to find your own bangers, do what I do and head to the OddsJam Positive Expected Value tool. It’s the best. Really, you should subscribe to the Fantasy Optimizer too.

Anyway, the first pick is as obvious as obvious can be.

Pick #1: Austin Ekeler 60+ Rushing Yards | +130 at DraftKings

Austin Ekeler is back tonight. The smartest thing we can do is take his 60+ rushing yards at +130 at DraftKings. I don’t know what’s going on with the people at DraftKings, but this is a customer appreciation line if I’ve ever seen one.

I thought this was a first-half line at first, but I checked and it’s for the whole game.

Here’s the thing: this guy hasn’t even played since Week 1, so maybe the books forgot that he’s filthy.

In Week 1, Ekeler went for 117 yards on just 16 carries. That’s Madden type numbers.

I get that he’s playing the Cowboys, but do we even know if they’re good at defending the run? Especially when there’s a threat of the passing game. I mean look who they’ve played.

Danny Dimes, Zach Wilson, Joshua Dobbs, Mac Jones…I mean what are they going to do. Of course they’re going to run the ball, or at least try.

The Cowboys were able to sell out against all of those teams, but guess what happened last week against a real offense in the 49ers. They gave up 170 yards on the ground.

Now they’re supposed to stop Herbert and the Chargers? That’s ridiculous.

We can’t stop at one bet though. We need more. It’s Monday night, and we only get so many of these nights in our lives. Why waste one by not having a full card of bets with no chance of losing? It just makes sense.

You know what else makes sense?

Pick #2: Jake Ferguson 40+ Receiving Yards | +112 at FanDuel

What are these people even doing? It’s like they don’t watch football.

This guy was on his way to one of the greatest games in tight end history, but then the Cowboys had to call off the dogs because they were getting curb stomped by the Niners. That’s not going to happen tonight.

You know what Ferguson did after that loss? While most people would be at home crying because they got embarrassed on national TV, Jake Ferguson was up texting Dak Prescott. He literally texted him and told him he would run through a brick wall for him. That’s called keeping it real.

He’s probably going to get 10+ targets for that text alone. Plus, in the two games before the San Francisco beatdown, Ferguson saw seven targets in both of them. He went 40+ in each of them as well.

If that’s not enough, the Chargers don’t stop tight ends.

So, why not go for one more bet on 5+ receptions at +142 at FanDuel?

That way if we get a bunch of screens or short stuff that doesn’t work, we’re still good.

We already said this guy had seven targets in two of the past three games, so this should be easy.

This could easily be the greatest night of our lives.